Here is what you can expect:
By Elena Fenner Apr 9, 2025 In honor of April being Counselor Awareness month (hyper link this to the ACA page about this), I thought it would be helpful to shed some light on what starting therapy looks like. Taking that first step and deciding to reach out to a counselor can be scary. Hopefully by providing some information about the process of therapy you and your family can feel a little more at ease, and a lot more prepared for what goes on there. The First Step The idea of starting therapy, for some, can be intimidating. First we may make the decision that we need help, or extra support, or we just need someone to talk to. After that comes the part where we find a therapist and make a call, send an email…etc. Making that first phone call can be scary, so let’s talk about what that looks like and eliminate some of the mystery around the process of therapy. When you call you will be asked your name, maybe your age, the insurance that you have and probably your availability. Depending on the therapy practice this initial phone call can vary, but ultimately it is just to gather more info. The person on the phone may be a therapist, they may be a receptionist or an intake coordinator (this is someone whose sole job is to take your call and ease you into the process of starting counseling). They might ask you about preferences for therapy (this is when you would say if you prefer a male vs female therapist, LGBTQ+ affirming, someone who works with trauma…etc.). Then, and this may be the most intimidating part, you will be asked about what brings you into counseling. You only have to share what your level of comfort and trust allows! You may feel pressure to share the intricacies of what is going on, or you may not want to share a thing. No matter what you feel about this part of the process, you are the one in control here. Here are some examples of things you may feel comfortable sharing here: “I am struggling with some anxiety and would like some extra support” “I have been feeling depressed lately and would like to talk to someone about that. “ “I have been experiencing flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks. I'm not sure what's going on, but I would like some help." Ultimately however you decide to navigate this portion of the call, you will not be judged ( and if you feel like you are- call somewhere else!!) Now what? After you’ve done this phone call you will be connected with your therapist and set up either a consultation or an intake session. A consultation is a brief meeting between you and your therapist to see if you are comfortable with them, and decide whether or not you two are a good fit for each other (typically consultations are free, but not always. Make sure to ask about the practice policy on this!) If you meet and think that you don't click, there is no judgment or shame in asking to meet with someone else! Therapists are taught that the majority of “good outcomes” in therapy are due to the therapeutic relationship. This means that the relationship you have with your therapist will be influential in healing and making progress in counseling. Consultations are typically requested during the initial phone call and occur before an intake session if you are doing one. If you would like to jump right in with the counseling process then you would set up an intake session. An intake session is where you meet your counselor and go over a wide range of things that will be a launching pad for the work you do together. Before anything is shared in this session your counselor will go over informed consent and confidentiality. This is an essential part of the first session where the therapist will explain your rights to privacy, autonomy, and agency in the counseling relationship. This will also cover potential instances when a therapist has to break the confidentiality agreement. Not to worry though, this is typically only done in certain instances like if you have plans and intent to hurt yourself or others, otherwise what you say in therapy stays in therapy! The counselor will also ask you for quite a bit of background information like medical history, family of origin, symptoms you are experiencing, your thoughts and perceptions about therapy, and treatment goals. In this session your therapist may give you paperwork to complete, or you may complete this beforehand. The therapist will also talk to you about their educational background, share their experience counseling and go over their theoretical orientation (this is the way that the counselor views therapy and their beliefs about the process and treatment). You are now officially a therapy client!You did the hard thing!! Remember that when you are going into counseling you have a say in everything that happens there. You are in control of the pace and have the right to change therapists, pause treatment or even ask for additional support. Finding a therapist that is right for you may take time, and the first person you meet may not be the fit for you. Don't give up! You deserve to have the acceptance and help you need to heal and grow. “We know from experience and the growing body of supportive literature […] that the therapeutic relationship a counselor forms with each client can be the most powerful tool for helping clients change.” - Cochran and Cochran, 2015, p. IX Share & follow For any inquiries, please contact: [email protected] https://www.openmindscounseling.com/elenafenner.html
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It seems that the old adage is true, “you are what you eat”. Research suggests that the food we eat, and the bacteria in our gut, has a direct impact on the chemicals that our brain uses to communicate, also known as neurotransmitters. These chemicals are created in the gut as well as the brain which is why diet and nutrition is so linked with mental health. This connection between what we eat, and our brain is called the Gut-Brain Axis and connects the intestines, and other bodily systems, with the central nervous system.
Interestingly, much of the well-known neurotransmitter Serotonin is created in the gut. Serotonin promotes feelings of happiness, calm, and relaxation. Eating the amino acid Tryptophan is one of the ways we can produce more serotonin. Foods high in tryptophan include:
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Written by: Alexandra Jade Adalbert, LPCA, MS Whether it's bouts of stress, anger, or a panic attack, there are times in our lives when we are overwhelmed and go into crisis mode. When we are experiencing this state of panic it can be difficult in the moment to think of what to do to bring ourselves back to the present. In the world of counseling, the act of bringing ourselves back to the present moment from a state of disarray is called grounding. Grounding provides us with stability and helps us regulate our bodies and our minds. There are many things that people do to manage stress such as exercise, schedule management…etc. However those are not helpful things when we are in crisis mode. Telling someone who is having a panic attack to “calm down” or “snap out of it” is often more hurtful than it is helpful. Below are some things that we can use to help us regulate ourselves, so that we are prepared for the next time we have a panic attack.
For this exercise you will identify: 5 things you can see 4 things you can feel 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste
There are many different methods of breathing exercises. The most popular are:
Grounding is a mindfulness exercise that has been known to be highly effective with those struggling with stress, anxiety, and panic. Try these techniques out and let us know how they go! https://www.goodrx.com/health-topic/mental-health/grounding-techniques-anxiety-coping https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0304394019300199#preview-section-cited-by ![]() Elena Fenner is interning as a counselor in training at Open Minds Counseling. She is a graduate student in Northwestern University’s counseling program with the goal of becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in adolescent therapy. Elena embraces the philosophy that the client is the expert in the room, and here job as a counselor is to listen and create an environment that is safe and welcoming. Elena's approach centers on interventions from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Internal Family Systems therapy models. She is passionate about working with adolescents and individuals in transitional adulthood. I am a therapist in private practice specializing in young adults with mood disorders such as depression and anxiety. I have also been in therapy for many years. Below are some of the mindsets and tools from my experiences that have helped me and my clients manage mood disorders and start living a more intentional life.
Understanding the Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) model
Believing that self worth is inherent simply because you exist
Investing in yourself
Having boundaries
Having a mantra
Surrounding yourself with content that lifts you up
Daring to be vulnerable
Finding your meditation
Remember that John Mayer song Daughters? You know the one, …”Fathers, be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do, girls become lovers who turn into mothers, so mothers be good to your daughters too”. Women and religious trauma were probably not what John Mayer was calling to mind when he wrote it but it’s what I think of these days when I hear this song.
Religious trauma comes in many forms. I want to talk about the trauma that is inherent in all major world/patriarchal religions but isn’t talked about nearly as much as cults and fundamentalist trauma is. Patriarchal religions are fundamentally contradictory to womens’ healthy development of sense of self. The trauma women experience through the sexism and misogyny built into patriarchal religions is long lasting and deeply impactful. The oppression of women is infused into our culture, workforce, marriages, politics, entertainment and most costly, into our parenting and so much of it is greenlit and defended through religious teaching. As both a mother of a daughter and an atheist it is incomprehensible for me to imagine teaching my child that she is subservient to males or that she is inherently sinful and should feel shame about her body, menstruation or sexuality. This is a person I love more than anything else in the world. Everyday since she was born my life has been centered around making sure she is safe, healthy and has everything she needs to thrive. Why would I ever consider teaching her that she is inferior to anyone, nevermind a whole gender? Let's really think about this for a minute. Say that a devout christian couple has every intention of raising their future children in their religion. Okay fine. They are planning what they have been taught you do, raise your child in your religion. But then their first child is born, a daughter, and she is their whole world. They are loving dutiful parents. At six months or so they dress that precious baby girl up in a white gown and baptize her in a religion that will someday too soon shame her and oppress her. This choice defies every instinct we have as parents.They love their child so much. Yet they literally throw a party to celebrate an induction into a religion that openly and unapologetically disenfranchises their child. How can they go through with this now that they have this baby daughter in their arms? To a non religious person it must sound like a really messed up thing to do. This is your child. Don’t you want what is best for her? Why would you send her into a community that will work hard to uphold male superiority and power to her detriment? I think that is a very good question and one every religious parents need to ask themselves. Parents, I know it's uncomfortable, more than uncomfortable, painful, intolerable even, but please do it anyway because your child is worth it. Your daughter deserves to have a chance to grow up believing she is equal in all ways to men. When parents make the choice to raise their daughters in a patriarchal religion it plants a seed in the child. A seed that no amount of love, attention or encouragement can compensate for. That seed is a message of worthlessness. We are talking about a basic sense of humanism stripped from our daughters. You can’t believe in your own inalienable rights as a human and believe what patriarchal religion teaches about a woman's place at the same time. Those are fundamentally contradictory concepts. The patriarchal religious teachings are not subtle either. “ Woman sinned first”, ”Women shall submit to their husbands” "Husbands are the head of the family and priesthood” “Women must remain pure for their husbands”. The expectations of women are loud and clear. Stay sweet, be good, serve others, be obedient, don’t question. I do not believe that as an atheist the love I feel for my children is greater than the love christian, jewish or muslim parents feel for their children. I do believe that religious parents are avoiding a deeply uncomfortable truth about the cognitive dissonance involved when you choose to bring up your very loved child into a sexist, oppressive religion. As a therapist I see the impact that being raised in a patriarchal, misogynistic religion has on the grown up daughters first hand. Many women struggle to deconstruct and untangle their sense of self worth from the religious teachings they were brought up with. It is common for women raised in religious families to struggle with anxiety, depression, and low self esteem. In some extremes the indoctrination has left women believing they are going to hell and undeserving of love. Parents, we can do better by our daughters. Being good to our daughters means believing she is just as worthy a human as her father and brothers, as all men. |
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